acting cool but checking out the booty like
i am physically incapable of not reblogging this
This makes me happy every time I see it.
Sunday nights are the worst you go to bed with that horrifying feeling of impending doom like “I’ve got a whole fucking week ahead”
I show affection for my pets by holding them against me and whispering I love you repeatedly as they struggle to escape from my arms
Now HE is a role-model
A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.
i love watching pets sleep bc you see their belly go up and down when they breathe and you’re like wow this is a lil living creature that’s all mine to play with
bitch be grateful
Using y = mx + b to measure the slope of that ass
Mathematically incorrect. Unless the ass was linear, but that’s biologically incorrect. You’d probably wanna use something like y=ax^2+bx+c because the ass is a second degree polynomial curve.
did you major in booty math
No, I studied Asstronomy
WHEN PEOPLE THINK BEING RUDE TO TEACHERS OR PROFESSORS IS FUNNY
dentist: *shoots you* you’re bleeding b/c you dont floss
HOW DO PEOPLE FALL ASLEEP SO FAST I DON’T UNDERSTAND I HAVE TO CREATE AND ACT OUT A WHOLE FUCKING MOVIE LENGTH STORY IN MY HEAD AND THEN CONTEMPLATE THE MEANING OF LIFE BEFORE I EVEN FEEL TIRED AND THIS BITCH STARTS SNORING IN TWO MINUTES
when your friend finds you after a tv show marathon
that turned out way better than i expected